I went a-riding. I rode Willow again because the instructor knows I like her, but she did point out that Willow is a difficult horse to ride. The thing I like about her is that she is so willing to work. You ask her to do something and she does it… you just have to ask a lot. We worked on the lunge line, which is good. Mounting hurt so M had me do some stretching in the saddle, bringing my heel up towards my butt, and that helped. We’re going to keep working on that.
Started to the left, which is Willow’s better direction and usually mine too. We mostly worked at a walk, working on keeping her straight, counterbending, getting her to move her hindquarters out too, using the outside knee and thigh to keep her from bulging out, all that kind of stuff. Then we did some little bitty pony trotting, which honestly scared me. Trotting in circles makes me feel like I’m really unbalanced. And then she spooked at a bush. I lost my seat a little but stayed on, unfortunately not calmly, but M pointed out how to spot that she was paying attention to the bush and bring her attention back to me and we did fine.
Then we worked to the right, and she wants to do really lopsided circles in that direction, so it was a lot of work to keep her in a good circle but we even did some counterbending that way and got things going pretty well. Worked on slowing her walk down with my seat. I really didn’t want to trot anymore but obviously I need to work through it, and so we did a few steps, walk, halt, walk, few steps, walk, halt. Eventually I did go all the way around the circle twice. I felt nervous, but I just have to remember that it’s something I can do just fine and M was very encouraging.
At the end she said I gave Willow a really good ride and that she was listening to me really well (I think she just DOES). I have a long way to go on my cues and aids but I feel OK. Still a little scared. I may actually call our EAP and see if they have a sports psychiatrist, because all this was WITH Klonopin. I gave Willow a hug at the end and she let me, and seems to be liking me a bit more. Grooming her afterwards was nice and relaxing and she was very good for me. Beautiful girl.
I’m going again tomorrow, because I really do not want to wait an entire week right now. I think that would be bad, because it would give me time to get all worked up again. So I’m Just Doing It.